


Gratuitious Garden Hose Erotica

by calime



Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-23
Updated: 2006-05-23
Packaged: 2017-10-12 09:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calime/pseuds/calime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Methos goes well with everything. A fact that Duncan can appreciate, I'm sure.<br/>P.S. Despite the obvious promise inherent in the title and pairing, this story contains absolutely no insertion of anything into any orifices, with or without water. The hose just did not want to go there ;) The final product, it is really disappointingly innocent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gratuitious Garden Hose Erotica

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cyberducks @ LJ](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cyberducks+%40+LJ).



>   
> Because I promised. Unbetaed. Unashamed. [](http://cyberducks.livejournal.com/profile)[**cyberducks**](http://cyberducks.livejournal.com/) should really think before she makes statements that can lead to ... this. She did say she would read Methos with anyone/anything, even a garden hose...  
>  Disclaimer: They're not mine. If they were, they'd be naked far more often onscreen.

  
"Mac, I'm really not in the mood for it!"

"You promised, remember? And the lawn will be burnt into a crisp by the time you can sort out your moods."

"Damn, it's blazing hot out here! _I_ will be burnt into a crisp and die a horrible death under the unforgiving sun, over and over again..."

"You like sun, Methos. Bora Bora, and places south, wasn't it?"

"Bora Bora has beaches! Ocean! W-a-t-e-r, you know?"

"There's water a-plenty coming out of that hose, if you turn the spout. I'm sure you and the lawn will manage to share."

And with that, Methos was left standing in the middle of the garden.

 _The youth of today. No respect for the elders._

Methos stared accusingly at the lawn wilting in the stifling heat. The sun beat down on his head and shoulders and he could almost feel himself turning brown along the edges, just like the damn grass.

The garden hose lay curled up in the sun, giving an impression of a particularly long lazy snake. Methos prodded the warm coils experimentally with a bare toe. No response. The enemy was probably trying to lull him into a false sense of security.

He sent a longing glance towards the house, beckoning with the siren delights of shaded rooms with cool smooth floors, soft sprawl-worthy furniture and a certain Highlander, who among other things made a very special, comfortable pillow.

He'd been forced to leave a book unfinished, too. _A real slavedriver, that bastard._

Sighing, he picked up the end of the hose and turned the spout. The water was sun-warmed at first and felt pleasant flowing over his feet. He wriggled his toes in the now-wet grass, enjoying the faint tickling sensation.

Suddenly, the clear water made him realize how hot and thirsty he felt. He cupped his left hand under the flow and drank. The garden hose had been cooled by the cold water by now, feeling peculiarly nice in his hand. He lifted it with both hands and pressed his face against the smooth coolness of it, rubbed the sleek coil against his throbbing temples. A trickle of icy water ran along the hose and dripped on his chest, making him flinch.

Absently, he brushed at the wetness. His hand was cool and the contrast with the hot and sweaty skin on his chest made him shiver. Slowly, he wet his fingertips and started drawing swirling patterns on his chest and belly.

 _Ah, nice._ Again, he put his hand under the water flow and continued the soft touches, following the path of a drop of water slowly rolling downwards.

Suddenly, the leisurely descent of the droplet was interrupted by a pair of strong arms that sneaked around his waist from behind. A warm breath touched his nape when the owner of the arms rumbled with apparent amusement, "You were supposed to water the lawn, not stand here playing with yourself like someone's wet dream."

Methos leaned slightly back, keeping his eyes down on Duncan's hand that had begun to insinuate itself slowly under the waistband of his shorts.

"The garden hose inspired me to lewd thoughts," he murmured.

Duncan chuckled against his ear.

"I can see the phallic connotations, perhaps, but I don't think you ever need any additional inspiration for lewd thoughts. You're rather talented in that area."

Methos decided to take this as a compliment.  



End file.
